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:icontruthistruth: More from TruthisTruth


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Literature by WantsToLoseHerMask


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Submitted on
February 10
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Let's throw away the princes,
the knights in shining armor.
No servant boys and princesses.
No magic, no villains.

Because our story isn't like
a fairytale. There were no
battles. There were no wars.

We both know that neither of
us has read Romeo and Juliet,
and I doubt we resemble Elizabeth
and Darcy.

There were no family feuds,
and no love triangles to
throw us off balance.

Because we're anything but a classic.
THIS ARTIST HAS REQUESTED CRITIQUE ON THEIR WORK

I had a different version of this written out, and I was about to post it when I must have accidentally clicked "Cancel". All that work was deleted. :faint:

So, I tried to remember every line I had written down, and I think I got 90% of it right in this revised version. Sadly, I couldn't remember that last 10%.

Hopefully this is acceptable, and not too terrible. Have a good early Valentines Day!

:bulletblue: Did it flow? Or did you find it hard to swallow?

:bulletblue: What do you think the message of this poem is?

:bulletblue: What are your thoughts on it, all in all?

Classic (c) :icontruthistruth:
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:iconphoneix14:
I found this poem very interesting because it had a very medieval feel to it.
I feel as if you have taken language from Romeo and Juliet in the 4th verse which I really like.
It flowed perfectly and I enjoyed the sharpness and the rhythm of each line. The verses are well balanced and I felt the poem was the perfect length. I think the last line really hits the spot, it's very powerful.
I think it sums up how I interrupt this poem. Overall I really like this poem and I am very impressed. Keep up the good work :D
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
3 out of 3 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconlittle-tin-wings:
Little-Tin-Wings Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2014
I quite enjoyed this lovely little poem, I think it flowed quite nicely with an even beat.  For me, the message comes across as something like this:  "We don't live a fairytale, princes and knights in shining armor don't exist; they're not going to come and sweep you off your feet.  It's time to wake up from your fantasies and live in reality."  Another way I interpreted the message, was something like this: "Our lives aren't perfect magical tales filled with romance and grand events, but that's okay, because we're anything but a classic."

It does have a "very medieval feel to it," as another commenter stated, which to me, also gives it a mystical aura and a feeling of awe.

My thoughts all in all, is that this is an amazing piece that gives me many good emotions as well as a very strong feeling that I can't quite comprehend.  Beautiful job. :clap:
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:icontruthistruth:
TruthisTruth Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Why, thank you! :aww: It means a whole lot to me that you take the time to write such kind comments! :glomp:
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:iconlittle-tin-wings:
Little-Tin-Wings Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014
You're very welcome!  I think people deserve to hear nice comments on their work every now and then, especially if they work hard on it.  I personally find it a bit disappointing when I put a lot of effort into something and feel very proud of it, and all someone says is "Nice job."  It also makes me happy when I make others happy.  So thank you!
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:icontruthistruth:
TruthisTruth Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
It's incredibly kind of you to do that! :tighthug:
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:iconlittle-tin-wings:
Little-Tin-Wings Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014
Aww, thanks again!  It's very kind of you to say that!  I'm glad that my efforts mean something to someone.  :tighthug:
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:icontruthistruth:
TruthisTruth Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You are most welcome! :hug:
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:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This piece is so charming, it makes me want to fall in love all over again. :iconrubcheeksplz:
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:icontruthistruth:
TruthisTruth Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Why, thank you! I'm honored. :blush:
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:iconlandostock:
LandOstock Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2014
Beautiful and endearing. 
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:icontruthistruth:
TruthisTruth Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :aww:
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