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:icontruthistruth: More from TruthisTruth


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Submitted on
February 10
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Let's throw away the princes,
the knights in shining armor.
No servant boys and princesses.
No magic, no villains.

Because our story isn't like
a fairytale. There were no
battles. There were no wars.

We both know that neither of
us has read Romeo and Juliet,
and I doubt we resemble Elizabeth
and Darcy.

There were no family feuds,
and no love triangles to
throw us off balance.

Because we're anything but a classic.
THIS ARTIST HAS REQUESTED CRITIQUE ON THEIR WORK

I had a different version of this written out, and I was about to post it when I must have accidentally clicked "Cancel". All that work was deleted. :faint:

So, I tried to remember every line I had written down, and I think I got 90% of it right in this revised version. Sadly, I couldn't remember that last 10%.

Hopefully this is acceptable, and not too terrible. Have a good early Valentines Day!

:bulletblue: Did it flow? Or did you find it hard to swallow?

:bulletblue: What do you think the message of this poem is?

:bulletblue: What are your thoughts on it, all in all?

Classic (c) :icontruthistruth:
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:iconphoneix14:
I found this poem very interesting because it had a very medieval feel to it.
I feel as if you have taken language from Romeo and Juliet in the 4th verse which I really like.
It flowed perfectly and I enjoyed the sharpness and the rhythm of each line. The verses are well balanced and I felt the poem was the perfect length. I think the last line really hits the spot, it's very powerful.
I think it sums up how I interrupt this poem. Overall I really like this poem and I am very impressed. Keep up the good work :D
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
3 out of 3 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This piece is so charming, it makes me want to fall in love all over again. :iconrubcheeksplz:
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:icontruthistruth:
TruthisTruth Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Why, thank you! I'm honored. :blush:
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:iconlandostock:
LandOstock Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2014
Beautiful and endearing. 
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:icontruthistruth:
TruthisTruth Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :aww:
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:iconseptemberskies2298:
SeptemberSkies2298 Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
wow, this gave me chills when I read the last line, beautifully written!
I thought it flowed very well. I'll admit when I read the first line my thought was "good grief another overplayed fairy tale metaphor" but you put a really nice spin on it by allowing your subject to expand past just fairy tales to all classics.
To me, this poem meant that the relationship spoken of isn't perfect or tragically romantic or overly dramatic - it's all the things that people don't realize love is, just kinda simple. So I felt like there was a really positive vibe throughout the poem, and then at the end you kind of stomp on the fairy tale view of love and say "you know what, we don't need that tangle of cliches to have love, we're better this way."
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:icontruthistruth:
TruthisTruth Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Oh my goodness, thank you! :tighthug: I'm glad you liked it, and that it surprised you. :nod: It means a lot to hear other deviant's opinions on my work, especially such kind words! I'm thrilled you interpreted it that way, as that's the kind of feel I was going for. :D Thank you so much for the comment! :thanks:
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:iconseptemberskies2298:
SeptemberSkies2298 Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
you're very welcome!
Reply
:iconasterlia:
Asterlia Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Student General Artist
I thought this flowed nicely. I really like all of the allusions to other works in comparison to the love story in this poem. They showed that the love story wasn't like the ones most people dream about (because, realistically it's not going to be) but it is still beautiful in its own way. Well done! :)
Reply
:icontruthistruth:
TruthisTruth Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Why, thank you! :aww:
Reply
:iconmomojiro:
Momojiro Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Student Writer
This is a really nice poem :)
It immediately caught my attention and it wasn't what I thought it was about at all XD

Bullet; Blue Did it flow? Or did you find it hard to swallow?


Bullet; Blue What do you think the message of this poem is?

Bullet; Blue What are your thoughts on it, all in all?
Reply
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